it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
