Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
