you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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