i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
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