Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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