I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
