just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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