Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
only if we run a train.
done.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
