his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Come see our sink grown plant.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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