fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
