i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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