i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
