Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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