He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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