He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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