Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
