pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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