So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
