Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
