It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
