He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
