First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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