There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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