Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
