like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
