She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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