I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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