ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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