Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
