i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
it glows. i had to have it.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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