btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
My boob is missing a layer of skin
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
