my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
