if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
