Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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