The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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