I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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