Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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