If i come over, it means nothing
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
