well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
