yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
