If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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