you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
