sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
