NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
