I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
