All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
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There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
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I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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