apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
