I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
