the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
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I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
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I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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