Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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