as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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