you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
