Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
