Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Bring me that man meat
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.