Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up

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  (212): btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up http://tfl.nu/jzw8
  Replies (30) Good night (1125) Bad night (4866)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.

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  (312): I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved. http://tfl.nu/f2dp
  Replies (5) Good night (3011) Bad night (892)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Mmmm, vodka for breakfast

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  (404): Mmmm, vodka for breakfast http://tfl.nu/n4af
  Replies (16) Good night (3025) Bad night (746)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  You are an asshole

  (574): View more from Indiana

  haha sleeping beauty awakes.

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Where did you find this costume?

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  (616): You are an asshole (574): haha sleeping beauty awakes. (616): Where did you find this costume? http://tfl.nu/m4ai
  Replies (32) Good night (12481) Bad night (958)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal

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  (412): i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal http://tfl.nu/nm22
  Replies (64) Good night (1388) Bad night (5899)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own

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  (519): i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own http://tfl.nu/ot8v
  Replies (27) Good night (8621) Bad night (1134)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.

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  (780): I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop. http://tfl.nu/zx6t
  Replies (31) Good night (5532) Bad night (1013)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want

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  (702): whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want http://tfl.nu/m1hp
  Replies (39) Good night (7068) Bad night (1447)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...

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  (415): You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me... http://tfl.nu/rukw
  Replies (2) Good night (2086) Bad night (1015)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.

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  (402): Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year. http://tfl.nu/x76y
  Replies (18) Good night (3662) Bad night (892)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.

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  (402): She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat. http://tfl.nu/cjmw
  Replies (2) Good night (1305) Bad night (538)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.

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  (224): Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time. http://tfl.nu/eicx
  Replies (6) Good night (1073) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?

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  (609): Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex? http://tfl.nu/f6pa
  Replies (4) Good night (543) Bad night (430)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...

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  (416): Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list... http://tfl.nu/tcm7
  Replies (3) Good night (579) Bad night (356)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.

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  (+44): Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in. http://tfl.nu/ixni
  Replies (1) Good night (532) Bad night (227)

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