Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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