I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
