check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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