If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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