i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
