I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
