Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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