it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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